What’s in My Control?

The idea

Children spend a lot of energy on the parts of a situation nobody can change — the rain, the timer, somebody else's turn. Sorting those away from the parts they can choose makes the choosable part visible, and the last step asks them to use it.

Ask

“That part was outside of your control. What is still in your control?”

How to use it

• Play it on a calm day, not in the middle of the hard moment.
• “Let’s play!” deals eight to ten cards from a bank of sixty-four, so each round is a new mix. “Play another round” avoids the cards just seen.
• Read the cards aloud if that helps. The pictures carry most of it.
• If a card lands in the other circle, let the screen explain. There is nothing to correct.
• Spend your time on the last step. The sorting is the warm-up; choosing what to do next is the skill.

At home

When something goes wrong for real, try the same two questions out loud: “Is that in your control?” and, if not, “So what can you do now?”

Good to know

• Nothing is scored, timed or saved. After three goes on one card, the game places it for your child and moves on, so nobody gets stuck.
• Neither circle is the good one. Big feelings about the rain are allowed — the game never asks a child to control a feeling, only what they do next.
• Feelings and worried thoughts go in “outside of my control” on purpose: they arrive by themselves. Each one is always dealt with a card about what your child can do with it, which goes in the other circle.
• This is an educational resource, not therapy or medical advice.