What this story teaches
That every person’s body belongs to them, that about an arm’s length is a comfortable gap for many people, and that the child can ask for space as well as give it. Moving, rocking and flapping are fine in their own space.
When to use it
- Before starting school or a new class with mat time and lines.
- When your child often leans on, bumps into or hugs others without checking.
- When your child finds it hard when others crowd them.
For this story
- Practise “arm’s length” as a game: stretch an arm out and see the gap, rather than using it as a rule.
- Never ask your child to stop stimming. Help them find a spot where they can move freely.
- Make it clear that your child can always say no to touch — including hugs from relatives — and that telling you is always okay.
How to use it
- Read it together on a calm day, not mid-meltdown. In the hard moment itself, fewer words help more: stay close, keep everyone safe, and save the story for later.
- Read it again just before a tricky moment you can see coming: on the way to the park, the night before a haircut.
- Make it fit your child: skip pages, stop when they’ve had enough, swap a detail as you read so it matches your child’s day, or read only the “I can remember” card.
- Add your child’s first name on the story’s opening page and it appears in a line or two. The name stays in this browser and is never sent anywhere.
- Use the story’s words in real life (“No means not right now”), and model them when you hear “no” too.
- Notice tries, not perfect calm. Big feelings are allowed; the story is about what to do with them.
Good to know
- These stories are for everyday disappointments and changes. They never mean a child should put up with pain, fear, unsafe touch, bullying or anything that hurts — telling a trusted adult is always the right answer there.
- Nothing here asks a child to make eye contact, hug anyone — family included — stop stimming or stop crying. Crying and moving are ways bodies cope, and headphones or a break are always allowed.
- Where a story says a grown-up will do something — stop when a hand goes up, give a warning, keep a “later” spot — make sure it really happens, or change that page. A signal that isn’t honoured teaches a child their words don’t work.
- The aim is understanding and choices, not a quiet or compliant child. Asking “why?”, saying no to touch and disagreeing in words are skills to welcome.
- Visual stories help many children and not every child. Adapt, skip or change any page. This is an educational resource, not therapy or medical advice.