What this story teaches
That things other people are using or own need a “yes” before we take them, that “yes”, “no” and “later” are all fair answers, and that the same is true the other way round: the child’s own things matter, and they can say “please ask first” and give their own answer.
When to use it
- Before a playdate or group art time.
- When grabbing toys or tablets is a frequent flashpoint between siblings.
- After your child’s own things were taken without asking, to show their boundary counts too.
For this story
- Honour your child’s “no” about their own special things — a small box of “not for sharing” toys before a playdate helps.
- Model asking yourself: “Can I borrow your pencil?” and accept their answer.
- Grabbing often comes from not knowing when a turn will come. Help the other child say “later” with a when: “after this page”.
How to use it
- Read it together on a calm day, not mid-meltdown. In the hard moment itself, fewer words help more: stay close, keep everyone safe, and save the story for later.
- Read it again just before a tricky moment you can see coming: on the way to the park, the night before a haircut.
- Make it fit your child: skip pages, stop when they’ve had enough, swap a detail as you read so it matches your child’s day, or read only the “I can remember” card.
- Add your child’s first name on the story’s opening page and it appears in a line or two. The name stays in this browser and is never sent anywhere.
- Use the story’s words in real life (“No means not right now”), and model them when you hear “no” too.
- Notice tries, not perfect calm. Big feelings are allowed; the story is about what to do with them.
Good to know
- These stories are for everyday disappointments and changes. They never mean a child should put up with pain, fear, unsafe touch, bullying or anything that hurts — telling a trusted adult is always the right answer there.
- Nothing here asks a child to make eye contact, hug anyone — family included — stop stimming or stop crying. Crying and moving are ways bodies cope, and headphones or a break are always allowed.
- Where a story says a grown-up will do something — stop when a hand goes up, give a warning, keep a “later” spot — make sure it really happens, or change that page. A signal that isn’t honoured teaches a child their words don’t work.
- The aim is understanding and choices, not a quiet or compliant child. Asking “why?”, saying no to touch and disagreeing in words are skills to welcome.
- Visual stories help many children and not every child. Adapt, skip or change any page. This is an educational resource, not therapy or medical advice.