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Personal Space

Roo Bloom · Social Stories · roobloom.com

  1. Mat timeAt mat time, my class sits on the carpet for a story.
  2. Someone sits very closeA child sits right up close to me. Our knees are touching.
  3. It might feel squashedBeing very close might feel squashed, hot or wriggly.
  4. Bodies belong to their ownersMy body belongs to me. Other people’s bodies belong to them.
  5. About an arm’s lengthPersonal space is the bit of space around each body.
  6. I can ask for spaceI can ask for space, in a kind voice.

    I can say: “Can you shuffle over a bit, please?”

  7. We each have our spotThey shuffle back to their own spot. Now we both have room.
  8. Others can ask me tooIf someone asks me for space, I can move over too.
  9. Moving is okayIf my body needs to rock, flap or wiggle, I can do it in my own space.

    I could try… Move my body — stretch or jump · Hold my calm-down thing · Say “I need a break” · Find a quiet spot for a bit

  10. Space is not unkindAsking for space doesn’t mean I don’t like someone.

    I can say: “They touched me when I said no.”

  11. I am learningI am learning about my space and other people’s space.

I can remember

  • My body belongs to me.
  • Other people’s bodies belong to them.
  • About an arm’s length is comfy.
  • I can ask for space.
  • Moving in my own space is okay.
For grown-ups

What this story teaches

That every person’s body belongs to them, that about an arm’s length is a comfortable gap for many people, and that the child can ask for space as well as give it. Moving, rocking and flapping are fine in their own space.

When to use it

  • Before starting school or a new class with mat time and lines.
  • When your child often leans on, bumps into or hugs others without checking.
  • When your child finds it hard when others crowd them.

For this story

  • Practise “arm’s length” as a game: stretch an arm out and see the gap, rather than using it as a rule.
  • Never ask your child to stop stimming. Help them find a spot where they can move freely.
  • Make it clear that your child can always say no to touch — including hugs from relatives — and that telling you is always okay.

How to use it

  • Read it together on a calm day, not mid-meltdown. In the hard moment itself, fewer words help more: stay close, keep everyone safe, and save the story for later.
  • Read it again just before a tricky moment you can see coming: on the way to the park, the night before a haircut.
  • Make it fit your child: skip pages, stop when they’ve had enough, swap a detail as you read so it matches your child’s day, or read only the “I can remember” card.
  • Add your child’s first name on the story’s opening page and it appears in a line or two. The name stays in this browser and is never sent anywhere.
  • Use the story’s words in real life (“No means not right now”), and model them when you hear “no” too.
  • Notice tries, not perfect calm. Big feelings are allowed; the story is about what to do with them.

Good to know

  • These stories are for everyday disappointments and changes. They never mean a child should put up with pain, fear, unsafe touch, bullying or anything that hurts — telling a trusted adult is always the right answer there.
  • Nothing here asks a child to make eye contact, hug anyone — family included — stop stimming or stop crying. Crying and moving are ways bodies cope, and headphones or a break are always allowed.
  • Where a story says a grown-up will do something — stop when a hand goes up, give a warning, keep a “later” spot — make sure it really happens, or change that page. A signal that isn’t honoured teaches a child their words don’t work.
  • The aim is understanding and choices, not a quiet or compliant child. Asking “why?”, saying no to touch and disagreeing in words are skills to welcome.
  • Visual stories help many children and not every child. Adapt, skip or change any page. This is an educational resource, not therapy or medical advice.