Taking turns talking

What this pack teaches

That a conversation is turns, and that some actions hand a turn over while others keep hold of it. It is about the swap, not about talking less.

A child with a great deal to say about one subject has done nothing wrong when the turn does not come back — they often cannot hear where their turn ended. Turn-taking is easier to see than to feel, which is why it sorts well: the pause, the question, the full stop are all visible. Practising it on cards makes it findable later, in a real conversation.

• Stop at the end of your turn.
• A question hands the turn over.
• Long turns leave nobody else a turn.
• Wait for the full stop before starting.
• Ask them something back.

How to use this

• ·Sit next to your child rather than opposite them. This works best as a thing you do together, not a thing you set them.
• ·Read the speech bubbles aloud if that helps. Nothing here needs to be read independently.
• ·Talk about the picture before the buttons. “What's happening here?” is often more useful than the sorting itself.
• ·Five situations is a session. Stopping after two is a fine session too.

Practising away from the screen

• ·Use a talking object at dinner — a spoon, a toy — and pass it. Whoever holds it has the turn, and it has to be handed over.
• ·Count turns out loud in a short chat, lightly. “That's three from me and one from you — go on, your go.”
• ·Give your child a turn you would normally fill. Leave a longer silence than feels comfortable and let them take it.

Things you can say in the moment

• You've told me the good bit — ask Dad what happened at his work.
• Finish that sentence, then say “what about you?”, and stop.
• She's been waiting a while to say something. You could say “you go” and let her have it.
• If you have lots more to say, you could say “can I tell you the rest after?”

What not to push

• ·Talking a lot about one subject is not the problem this pack is about. The pack is about where the other person's turn went, not about the subject.
• ·Nobody has to fill their turn. “Pass” and a shrug are turns, and so is silence.
• ·Interrupting is not always the thing to stop. If somebody is hurt or something is about to go over, cutting in is the right move and stays the right move.

If this pack is hard today

Do it with objects instead of cards. Two of you, one spoon, and the spoon has to move — a child who cannot yet sort the sentences can usually see the spoon sitting in one hand all afternoon.