Space and asking first — sorting cards

Asking first, and hearing no · 5–9 · Roo Bloom

How to use these pages

Print all the pages. A4, single sided, at 100% — not “fit to page”.
Cut along the dashed lines to make the cards.
Put the two mats on the table, a bit apart.
Read a card out, or let your child read it, and put it on the mat they choose.
The answer key on the last page is for you. It is not for marking — it is so you have the explanation ready when your child asks why.

Two mats, a bit apart, and read each card out before it is placed. The cards about hugs are worth stopping on rather than sorting quickly.

BOTH OKAY

Both feel okay

NOT OKAY

Someone doesn't feel okay

The cards

Cut along the dashed lines

Mia wants to use Leo's red texta.
Mia: “Can I use your red texta?”
Leo: “Sure, here you go.”
Asking first · Roo Bloom
Nina runs up behind Omar at the party.
Omar: “Whoa! I didn't want a hug.”
Nina hugs Omar without asking him first.
Asking first · Roo Bloom
Zara is twirling Sam's hair at mat time.
Sam: “Please don't touch my hair.”
Zara: “Okay.”
Zara puts her hands in her lap.
Asking first · Roo Bloom
Lily is telling Beau about her scooter.
Lily: “My scooter has light-up wheels!”
Beau steps back. Lily steps close again.
Asking first · Roo Bloom
Tam sits very close to Kai on the beanbag.
Kai: “Can you move back a bit?”
Tam: “Sure.”
Tam shuffles along and leaves a gap.
Asking first · Roo Bloom
Beau and Suri are wrestling on the grass.
Suri: “Stop! That's too rough.”
Beau lets go and stands up right away.
Asking first · Roo Bloom
Priya asks Lily to play tiggy with her.
Lily: “No thanks.”
Priya: “Why not? Tell me why. Why not?”
Asking first · Roo Bloom
Nan is leaving. She holds her arms out.
Nan: “Can I have a hug goodbye?”
Eli: “Not today, thanks.”
Nan smiles and offers a high five instead.
Asking first · Roo Bloom
Ava said yes to a hug from Jonah.
Ava: “That's too tight.”
Jonah: “Squeezy hug!”
Jonah squeezes harder and keeps holding on.
Asking first · Roo Bloom
Omar keeps poking Ines in the line.
Ines: “Stop poking me, please.”
Omar keeps poking. Ines tells Mr Reed.
Asking first · Roo Bloom
Kai and Mia are lining up for lunch.
Mia: “Stand next to me, Kai.”
Kai stands one big step away from Mia.
Asking first · Roo Bloom
Ruby needs Ms Patel. Ms Patel is talking.
Ms Patel: “Just a moment, Ruby.”
Ruby waits instead of telling Ms Patel now.
Asking first · Roo Bloom

For grown-ups: what each card is about

Cards marked “either” are the interesting ones. Both answers are defensible and the conversation is the point.

1. BOTH OKAY
Mia asked first, so Leo got to say yes.
Ask before you take something.
2. NOT OKAY
Omar got a hug he had no say about.
Ask before you hug someone. — Ask Omar first: do you want a hug?
3. BOTH OKAY
Sam said what he wanted, and Zara stopped straight away.
Stop as soon as someone asks.
4. NOT OKAY
Beau moved back because he needed more room.
When someone steps back, stay back. — Stay where you are and keep talking.
5. BOTH OKAY
Kai said what he needed, and Tam made room.
Say how much room you need.
6. BOTH OKAY
Suri said stop, and the rough game ended straight away.
Stop means stop, every single time.
7. NOT OKAY
Lily already answered. She doesn't owe Priya a reason.
Take a no without asking why. — Say okay and find something else to do.
8. BOTH OKAY
Eli said no, and Nan found another way to say goodbye.
You can say no to any hug.
9. NOT OKAY
Ava said yes to a hug, not to a tight one.
Loosen up the moment someone says so. — Let go as soon as Ava says that.
10. BOTH OKAY
Ines asked Omar to stop. He didn't, so a grown-up can help.
Tell a grown-up when someone won't stop.
11. Either
Kai likes more space than Mia does. In a squashy line, everyone stands closer.
Ask how much space someone likes.
12. Either
If someone is hurt or won't stop, tell now. Small things can wait.
Tell now if someone won't stop.