Getting someone's attention

What this pack teaches

How a message gets from your child to another person: near enough, aimed at them, and timed for a gap. It is about the route, not about volume.

A child who has said something four times and been heard none of them usually says it louder, because loud is the only dial they have found. The dial that works is distance and timing: the same words said from a metre away land when the same words called from the hallway do not. That is a fact about rooms, not about the child, and it saves escalating.

• Say their name first.
• Get close enough to be heard.
• Words said to a back get lost.
• Wait for the gap, then say it.
• Louder is not the same as closer.

How to use this

• ·Sit next to your child rather than opposite them. This works best as a thing you do together, not a thing you set them.
• ·Read the speech bubbles aloud if that helps. Nothing here needs to be read independently.
• ·Talk about the picture before the buttons. “What's happening here?” is often more useful than the sorting itself.
• ·Five situations is a session. Stopping after two is a fine session too.

Practising away from the screen

• ·Name the route out loud when it works. “You came and stood next to me and said my name — that's why I heard you.”
• ·Agree a signal for when you are on the phone. A hand on your arm means “I need you when you're finished”.
• ·Try it from another room on purpose, as a game. Shout from the hallway, then come in and say it, and compare.

Things you can say in the moment

• I'm facing the sink — come round where I can hear you and say it again.
• Say “Mum” first, then wait for me to say “yes?”, then tell me.
• She's got headphones on. A wave where she can see it travels faster than calling.
• If it's urgent you can cut straight in. Say “this is important” and I'll stop.

What not to push

• ·There is no need to say “excuse me” for this to work. Getting heard is about being near enough and timed right, not about the opening phrase.
• ·A child never has to speak to be heard. Pointing, a note, a tap, a picture card and a hand on your arm are all ways in.
• ·Volume is not a thing to tell a child off about. A loud voice usually means four quiet attempts already went nowhere.

If this pack is hard today

Move it off the cards and into the hallway. Stand with your back turned and let your child try three ways of reaching you, and say plainly which one arrived. Two minutes of that beats a page of sorting.