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When I Do Not Win a Race or Prize

Roo Bloom · Social Stories · roobloom.com

  1. It’s sports dayIt’s sports day. I run in the big race as fast as I can.
  2. My friend gets the medalMy friend gets to the finish first. The teacher gives them the medal.
  3. I might feel sadI might feel sad, cross or embarrassed.
  4. What my body needsI can give my body what it needs after a big race.

    I could try… Have a drink of water · Find a quiet spot for a bit · Cry if I need to · Stay close to a grown-up

  5. I can say how I feelI can tell a grown-up how I feel.

    I can say: “I’m sad I didn’t get a medal.”

  6. Only one person is firstIn a race, only one person can come first.
  7. Trying countsI ran the whole race, and my legs worked really hard.
  8. I can say “well done”When I’m ready, I can choose to say “well done” to my friend.

    I can say: “Well done!”

  9. I did not do badlyNot winning doesn’t mean I did badly.
  10. I am learningEach time I try, I am learning. I can feel proud of myself.

I can remember

  • It’s okay to feel sad when I don’t win.
  • Trying my best counts.
  • I can tell a grown-up how I feel.
  • Every try helps me learn.
For grown-ups

What this story teaches

That not winning a race or competition can feel really disappointing, that the feeling is allowed, and that effort still counts: look after the body, say how it feels, and — when ready — say “well done”.

When to use it

  • The week before sports day, a swimming carnival or a school competition.
  • After a prize or award went to someone else and your child was upset.
  • When your child refuses to take part in things they might not win.

For this story

  • Praise the effort you actually saw: “You kept running right to the end.”
  • Don’t rush “well done” to the winner — let the disappointment be felt first.
  • Crying after trying hard is okay; offer a drink, a rest and some quiet before talking.

How to use it

  • Read it together on a calm day, not mid-meltdown. In the hard moment itself, fewer words help more: stay close, keep everyone safe, and save the story for later.
  • Read it again just before a tricky moment you can see coming: on the way to the park, the night before a haircut.
  • Make it fit your child: skip pages, stop when they’ve had enough, swap a detail as you read so it matches your child’s day, or read only the “I can remember” card.
  • Add your child’s first name on the story’s opening page and it appears in a line or two. The name stays in this browser and is never sent anywhere.
  • Use the story’s words in real life (“No means not right now”), and model them when you hear “no” too.
  • Notice tries, not perfect calm. Big feelings are allowed; the story is about what to do with them.

Good to know

  • These stories are for everyday disappointments and changes. They never mean a child should put up with pain, fear, unsafe touch, bullying or anything that hurts — telling a trusted adult is always the right answer there.
  • Nothing here asks a child to make eye contact, hug anyone — family included — stop stimming or stop crying. Crying and moving are ways bodies cope, and headphones or a break are always allowed.
  • Where a story says a grown-up will do something — stop when a hand goes up, give a warning, keep a “later” spot — make sure it really happens, or change that page. A signal that isn’t honoured teaches a child their words don’t work.
  • The aim is understanding and choices, not a quiet or compliant child. Asking “why?”, saying no to touch and disagreeing in words are skills to welcome.
  • Visual stories help many children and not every child. Adapt, skip or change any page. This is an educational resource, not therapy or medical advice.