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Someone Does Not Want to Play

Roo Bloom · Social Stories · roobloom.com

  1. I ask a friend to playAt lunchtime, I ask my friend to play ball with me.
  2. My friend says noMy friend says, “No, thanks. I want to swing.”
  3. I might feel sadI might feel sad, disappointed or left out.
  4. It’s their choiceMy friend gets to choose what they play.
  5. Helping my bodyI can give my body a moment before I choose what’s next.

    I could try… Find a quiet spot for a bit · Squeeze my hands, then let go · Count slowly · Cry if I need to

  6. I can say okayI can say something friendly back.

    I can say: “Okay, maybe later!”

  7. I can ask someone elseI can ask someone else to play.
  8. Or play something elseOr I can bounce my ball, or play something else for a while.
  9. We can still be friendsOne “no” does not mean my friend doesn’t like me.
  10. If it happens every dayIf nobody ever lets me play, I can tell a grown-up.

    I can say: “Nobody will play with me.”

  11. I am learningI am learning that I have lots of ways to play.

I can remember

  • It’s okay to feel sad about it.
  • It’s their choice what they play.
  • I can ask someone else.
  • I can play something else.
  • If it happens a lot, I can tell a grown-up.
For grown-ups

What this story teaches

That other children can choose what and who they play with, that feeling sad or left out about it is allowed, and what to do next: answer kindly, ask someone else, or play something else. It also says clearly that being left out again and again is something to tell an adult about.

When to use it

  • Before playtime or a playdate, if hearing “no” from friends is hard.
  • After your child tells you someone wouldn’t play with them.
  • When your child tends to keep asking or insist after a friend says no.

For this story

  • Help your child build a short list of “next ideas”: two other friends, two things to play alone.
  • Separate “no to the game” from “no to me” — that is often the part that hurts.
  • If your child is repeatedly excluded, talk to the school. That is not a skill for your child to fix alone.

How to use it

  • Read it together on a calm day, not mid-meltdown. In the hard moment itself, fewer words help more: stay close, keep everyone safe, and save the story for later.
  • Read it again just before a tricky moment you can see coming: on the way to the park, the night before a haircut.
  • Make it fit your child: skip pages, stop when they’ve had enough, swap a detail as you read so it matches your child’s day, or read only the “I can remember” card.
  • Add your child’s first name on the story’s opening page and it appears in a line or two. The name stays in this browser and is never sent anywhere.
  • Use the story’s words in real life (“No means not right now”), and model them when you hear “no” too.
  • Notice tries, not perfect calm. Big feelings are allowed; the story is about what to do with them.

Good to know

  • These stories are for everyday disappointments and changes. They never mean a child should put up with pain, fear, unsafe touch, bullying or anything that hurts — telling a trusted adult is always the right answer there.
  • Nothing here asks a child to make eye contact, hug anyone — family included — stop stimming or stop crying. Crying and moving are ways bodies cope, and headphones or a break are always allowed.
  • Where a story says a grown-up will do something — stop when a hand goes up, give a warning, keep a “later” spot — make sure it really happens, or change that page. A signal that isn’t honoured teaches a child their words don’t work.
  • The aim is understanding and choices, not a quiet or compliant child. Asking “why?”, saying no to touch and disagreeing in words are skills to welcome.
  • Visual stories help many children and not every child. Adapt, skip or change any page. This is an educational resource, not therapy or medical advice.