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Someone Changes the Rules

Roo Bloom · Social Stories · roobloom.com

  1. We are playing a gameMy friend and I are playing a board game on the floor.
  2. My friend changes a ruleIn the middle of the game, my friend says, “Now you need a six to move!”
  3. It might not feel fairI might feel cross, confused, or like it isn’t fair.
  4. Helping my bodyI can help my body before I talk about it.

    I could try… Squeeze my hands, then let go · Count slowly · Move my body — stretch or jump

  5. I can ask about itI can ask about the new rule.

    I can say: “Why is the rule different now?”

  6. Rules work when we agreeA game works best when everyone agrees on the rules.
  7. We can decide togetherI can suggest a way we both agree on.

    I can say: “Let’s finish with the old rules, then try yours.”

  8. A grown-up can helpIf we can’t agree, I can ask a grown-up to help.

    I can say: “Dad, can you help us with the rules?”

  9. Or play something elseI can also say, “I don’t want to play that way,” and choose another game.
  10. We can still be friendsLots of friends get muddled about rules. We can sort it out and keep playing.
  11. I am learningI am learning to talk about rules and sort them out together.

I can remember

  • It’s okay to feel it isn’t fair.
  • I can ask about a new rule.
  • We can agree on rules together.
  • A grown-up can help us decide.
For grown-ups

What this story teaches

That a rule changing in the middle of a game can feel unfair, and that games work when everyone agrees. It gives the child words to ask about a rule, suggest a fair deal, get an adult’s help, or choose a different game.

When to use it

  • Before a playdate with board games, cards or tag.
  • After a game ended in tears because someone changed the rules.
  • When your child relies on rules staying the same to feel settled.

For this story

  • Agree the rules out loud before a game starts — “Are we playing the short way or the long way?”
  • Many children find rule changes genuinely distressing. The feeling is valid; the story is about what to do with it.
  • If one child keeps changing rules to win, step in and help both children agree, rather than asking yours to just go along with it.

How to use it

  • Read it together on a calm day, not mid-meltdown. In the hard moment itself, fewer words help more: stay close, keep everyone safe, and save the story for later.
  • Read it again just before a tricky moment you can see coming: on the way to the park, the night before a haircut.
  • Make it fit your child: skip pages, stop when they’ve had enough, swap a detail as you read so it matches your child’s day, or read only the “I can remember” card.
  • Add your child’s first name on the story’s opening page and it appears in a line or two. The name stays in this browser and is never sent anywhere.
  • Use the story’s words in real life (“No means not right now”), and model them when you hear “no” too.
  • Notice tries, not perfect calm. Big feelings are allowed; the story is about what to do with them.

Good to know

  • These stories are for everyday disappointments and changes. They never mean a child should put up with pain, fear, unsafe touch, bullying or anything that hurts — telling a trusted adult is always the right answer there.
  • Nothing here asks a child to make eye contact, hug anyone — family included — stop stimming or stop crying. Crying and moving are ways bodies cope, and headphones or a break are always allowed.
  • Where a story says a grown-up will do something — stop when a hand goes up, give a warning, keep a “later” spot — make sure it really happens, or change that page. A signal that isn’t honoured teaches a child their words don’t work.
  • The aim is understanding and choices, not a quiet or compliant child. Asking “why?”, saying no to touch and disagreeing in words are skills to welcome.
  • Visual stories help many children and not every child. Adapt, skip or change any page. This is an educational resource, not therapy or medical advice.