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My Idea Is Not Chosen

Roo Bloom · Social Stories · roobloom.com

  1. Our class has a voteOur class votes on what to do on Friday afternoon.
  2. I vote for paintingI put my hand up for painting. More people vote for music.
  3. I might feel disappointedI might feel disappointed, sad, or like it isn’t fair.
  4. How a vote worksIn a vote, the idea with the most hands gets chosen.
  5. Letting the feeling settleI can give the disappointed feeling a little time to settle.

    I could try… Hold my calm-down thing · Squeeze my hands, then let go · Cry if I need to · Stay close to a grown-up

  6. I can say how I feelI can tell my teacher how I feel, and ask a question.

    I can say: “I really wanted painting. Can we paint another day?”

  7. My teacher answersMy teacher says painting can be on the list for next week.
  8. I can give it a goI can give music a go. I might find a part I like, like the drum.
  9. My idea was still goodMy idea was still a good idea, even though it wasn’t chosen.
  10. I am learningI am learning that my ideas still matter, even when they aren’t picked.

I can remember

  • It’s okay to feel disappointed.
  • In a vote, the most hands wins.
  • I can say how I feel.
  • I can give the other idea a go.
  • My ideas still matter.
For grown-ups

What this story teaches

That in a group, not every idea gets picked, and that disappointment about it is allowed. It shows how a vote works, gives words to say how it felt and ask for another time, and reminds the child that their idea still had value.

When to use it

  • Before class votes, group projects or team games.
  • After your child came home upset that the group didn’t pick their idea.
  • Before family decisions like movie night, where you take turns choosing.

For this story

  • At home, try votes with low stakes (which game, which book) so your child can practise losing a vote safely.
  • Name the effort: “You shared your idea with the whole class. That takes courage.”
  • If your child’s ideas are never heard, it’s worth a quiet word with the teacher.

How to use it

  • Read it together on a calm day, not mid-meltdown. In the hard moment itself, fewer words help more: stay close, keep everyone safe, and save the story for later.
  • Read it again just before a tricky moment you can see coming: on the way to the park, the night before a haircut.
  • Make it fit your child: skip pages, stop when they’ve had enough, swap a detail as you read so it matches your child’s day, or read only the “I can remember” card.
  • Add your child’s first name on the story’s opening page and it appears in a line or two. The name stays in this browser and is never sent anywhere.
  • Use the story’s words in real life (“No means not right now”), and model them when you hear “no” too.
  • Notice tries, not perfect calm. Big feelings are allowed; the story is about what to do with them.

Good to know

  • These stories are for everyday disappointments and changes. They never mean a child should put up with pain, fear, unsafe touch, bullying or anything that hurts — telling a trusted adult is always the right answer there.
  • Nothing here asks a child to make eye contact, hug anyone — family included — stop stimming or stop crying. Crying and moving are ways bodies cope, and headphones or a break are always allowed.
  • Where a story says a grown-up will do something — stop when a hand goes up, give a warning, keep a “later” spot — make sure it really happens, or change that page. A signal that isn’t honoured teaches a child their words don’t work.
  • The aim is understanding and choices, not a quiet or compliant child. Asking “why?”, saying no to touch and disagreeing in words are skills to welcome.
  • Visual stories help many children and not every child. Adapt, skip or change any page. This is an educational resource, not therapy or medical advice.