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Losing a Game

Roo Bloom · Social Stories · roobloom.com

  1. Playing a board gameI am playing a board game with my brother. I have the blue piece.
  2. My brother winsMy brother’s yellow piece gets to the end first. He wins this game.
  3. I might feel disappointedI might feel disappointed, cross or sad.
  4. Helping the big feelingI can help the big feeling get a little smaller.

    I could try… Find a quiet spot for a bit · Hug a cushion · Cry if I need to · Move my body — stretch or jump

  5. I can say how I feelI can tell someone how I feel.

    I can say: “I really wanted to win.”

  6. Mum understandsMum understands. Lots of people feel sad when they lose.
  7. Sometimes I winIn games, sometimes I win and sometimes someone else wins.
  8. I can say “good game”When I’m ready, I can say “good game” to my brother.

    I can say: “Good game!”

  9. I can choose what’s nextI can ask to play again, or choose something else to do.

    I can say: “Can we play again?”

  10. Losing is okayLosing a game doesn’t mean I am not good at things.
  11. I am learningEach game is practice. I am learning to lose and keep playing.

I can remember

  • It’s okay to feel sad when I lose.
  • I can help the big feeling get smaller.
  • I can say “good game”.
  • Sometimes I win, sometimes I don’t.
  • Games are for playing together.
For grown-ups

What this story teaches

That losing a game can bring up big feelings, that those feelings are allowed, and a few things to do with them: help the feeling get smaller, say how it feels, say “good game” when ready, and choose to play again or do something else.

When to use it

  • Before a family games night or a play date with games.
  • After a game that ended in tears or a thrown board, once everyone is calm.
  • When your child avoids games because losing feels too hard.

For this story

  • Model losing out loud: “Oh, I lost. I feel a bit disappointed. Good game — shall we play again?”
  • Start with short games or cooperative games, so a loss is small and quick to recover from.
  • Let your child leave the table for a moment; “good game” can come later and still count.

How to use it

  • Read it together on a calm day, not mid-meltdown. In the hard moment itself, fewer words help more: stay close, keep everyone safe, and save the story for later.
  • Read it again just before a tricky moment you can see coming: on the way to the park, the night before a haircut.
  • Make it fit your child: skip pages, stop when they’ve had enough, swap a detail as you read so it matches your child’s day, or read only the “I can remember” card.
  • Add your child’s first name on the story’s opening page and it appears in a line or two. The name stays in this browser and is never sent anywhere.
  • Use the story’s words in real life (“No means not right now”), and model them when you hear “no” too.
  • Notice tries, not perfect calm. Big feelings are allowed; the story is about what to do with them.

Good to know

  • These stories are for everyday disappointments and changes. They never mean a child should put up with pain, fear, unsafe touch, bullying or anything that hurts — telling a trusted adult is always the right answer there.
  • Nothing here asks a child to make eye contact, hug anyone — family included — stop stimming or stop crying. Crying and moving are ways bodies cope, and headphones or a break are always allowed.
  • Where a story says a grown-up will do something — stop when a hand goes up, give a warning, keep a “later” spot — make sure it really happens, or change that page. A signal that isn’t honoured teaches a child their words don’t work.
  • The aim is understanding and choices, not a quiet or compliant child. Asking “why?”, saying no to touch and disagreeing in words are skills to welcome.
  • Visual stories help many children and not every child. Adapt, skip or change any page. This is an educational resource, not therapy or medical advice.