Not getting what I expected

Someone is in my seat

What happened

A chair at a table with somebody already sitting in it

You always sit in that chair. Your brother is sitting there.

What do you want to happen?

For the grown-up

The seat is about the other child as much as about the chair, which is why quietly moving her to a different one rarely settles it. Give her the words to ask him, and back the asking up — a chair given over is worth more than a chair assigned.

Say what they wanted before you say what can happen. A child who is handed a solution first hears it as being told off.
The true thing beats the soothing thing. “The cup is in the wash” is something a child can be disappointed about and then get past.
Wanting the impossible thing is not a mistake. It is what they want, and this resource agrees with them before it says anything else.
It works far better on a calm day than in the middle of one. Going through it when nothing is happening is what makes the words available the next time something is.

This is a rehearsal tool, not an assessment, and it does not know your child. You decide whether what it says fits them — if a scenario is not right, close it and pick another.

You always sit in that chair. Your brother is sitting there.

What do you want to happen?

Have my chair back now — You wanted your own chair, the one you always sit in.
Ask him to swap — You'd like to ask him for a swap.
Sit in the next chair — You'd be happy sitting right next to him.
Not sit down at all — You didn't want to sit anywhere else.

Your brother is in the chair right now. But there are other chairs at the table.

What can you do about the chair?

Ask him to swap — Good idea. He might not know it's your usual spot. You could say: “Can I sit there? That's my usual chair.”
Ask whose turn it is — Good idea. A grown-up can sort out whose chair it is. You could say: “Whose turn is it to sit here?”
Sit in the next chair — Yes. The chair beside him is at the same table.

Your chair is taken right now. There is still a place for you.

For the grown-up: The seat is about the other child as much as about the chair, which is why quietly moving her to a different one rarely settles it. Give her the words to ask him, and back the asking up — a chair given over is worth more than a chair assigned.

All 33 situations