Not getting what I expected

They haven't got what I wanted

What happened

You wanted pancakes at the café. They aren't on the menu.

What do you want to happen?

For the grown-up

Nobody at your table decides this one, and a child who thinks Mum is refusing will argue with Mum. Point at the menu and let it be the answer, then let him choose from what is actually there.

Say what they wanted before you say what can happen. A child who is handed a solution first hears it as being told off.
The true thing beats the soothing thing. “The cup is in the wash” is something a child can be disappointed about and then get past.
Wanting the impossible thing is not a mistake. It is what they want, and this resource agrees with them before it says anything else.
It works far better on a calm day than in the middle of one. Going through it when nothing is happening is what makes the words available the next time something is.

This is a rehearsal tool, not an assessment, and it does not know your child. You decide whether what it says fits them — if a scenario is not right, close it and pick another.

You wanted pancakes at the café. They aren't on the menu.

What do you want to happen?

Have pancakes anyway — You came here for pancakes and nothing else.
Ask if they have any — You'd like to ask them yourself.
Look at the whole menu — You want to see what else there is.
Go somewhere else to eat — You'd rather leave than eat something different.

This café doesn't have pancakes today. But the menu has other things on it.

What can you choose instead?

Look at the menu — Good idea. The menu shows everything this café can make.
Ask what they have — Good idea. Asking is how you find out what's on today. You could say: “What else have you got, please?”
Pick the closest thing — Yes. Something on there will be the closest to pancakes.

This café hasn't got pancakes. You still choose what you eat.

For the grown-up: Nobody at your table decides this one, and a child who thinks Mum is refusing will argue with Mum. Point at the menu and let it be the answer, then let him choose from what is actually there.

All 33 situations