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Not getting what I expected

My cup is in the wash

What happened

A big blue cup standing in a bowl of soapy washing-up water

You wanted your blue cup. It's in the washing-up bowl.

What do you want to happen?

For the grown-up

The blue cup is not a preference here; it is the cup, and a green one is a different object. Say which cup she wanted out loud, then show her where it is in the bowl — seeing it helps far more than being told it still exists.

  • Say what they wanted before you say what can happen. A child who is handed a solution first hears it as being told off.
  • The true thing beats the soothing thing. “The cup is in the wash” is something a child can be disappointed about and then get past.
  • Wanting the impossible thing is not a mistake. It is what they want, and this resource agrees with them before it says anything else.
  • It works far better on a calm day than in the middle of one. Going through it when nothing is happening is what makes the words available the next time something is.

This is a rehearsal tool, not an assessment, and it does not know your child. You decide whether what it says fits them — if a scenario is not right, close it and pick another.

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