The Oops Plan

The plan

Put this where your child can see it. Point to the step you are on rather than explaining it.

1. 1OopsThat wasn't what I expected.
2. 2PauseI can stop for a moment.
3. 3Be FlexibleI can handle a little change.
4. 4ChooseWhat can I do?
5. 5Keep GoingI can carry on.

Can I change it?

The second question, once the Oops has been noticed. Not every Oops needs the same answer.

1. Yes, nowFix itThis one can be changed.
2. Not nowNext timeNot this time. It can be different next time.
3. It already happenedHandle what's nextThat part can't be undone. What happens next still can be.
4. It's stuckRestart may helpThis one has stopped working. Starting again may help.

Try againOne small step, over again.

RestartThe whole activity, from the beginning.

Strategy cards

Cut these out along the dashed lines.

• Fix itChange it now.
• Try againHave another go at that one step.
• Keep goingCarry on with things as they are.
• Next timeChoose differently the next time round.
• Handle what's nextDecide what happens now instead.
• RestartStart the whole activity again.

Using it away from the screen

“It's an Oops moment. What can we do?”

Name what happened — a mistake, an accident, or a change — then work down the plan. Finish with what your child actually did: “You handled that change.”

Then ask the second question: “Can we change it now?” Yes → fix it. Not now → next time. Already happened → what can we do next? It's stuck → restarting may help.

“It's stuck” is the situation; Restart is the tool that usually suits it. Asking a grown-up suits some stuck things better, and plenty of things that are not stuck get restarted out of habit.

Being flexible is for small, safe disappointments. It never means putting up with pain, fear, hunger, bullying or anything unsafe — there, telling an adult is the right answer.